Life of Possibilities
by thewholedamnthing
Summary: Three different ways April's pregnancy could have gone awry in 12x24 and the one time things could have worked out in April's and Jackson's favour. AU one-shots.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Hello everyone, I am new to writing fanfiction, but this story has been bugging me to put it down into words. This story is basically AU one-shots of scenarios I imagined happening when we found out April was giving birth in 12x24. Hope you enjoy the story and do let me know your feedback.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 _He loves her. He loves her so damn much._

That was the only thought running through his head while he was cradling his newborn daughter. His precious little daughter, whom meant the world to him and her mother.

 _Her mother._

An experience April might not even live to know, a bitter voice ran through his head. He hugged his daughter closer to him, while seated on an empty bed with Ben rambling his apologies. Jackson was not listening though. Just one thought repeatedly ran through his head.

 _He loves her. He loves her so damn much._

Until Bailey came to give him any updates on April, he was stuck in a bubble of daze that consisted of their daughter and the repeated thought. _He loves her so damn much_.

Hours went by. Or maybe it was just minutes, but Jackson was anxious; anxious to get any update on April.

He could not imagine life without her. Yes, he pushed for the divorce. Yes, he still loves her and yet, asked for the divorce. But he never imagined April not being a part of his life. He never saw a future where April didn't exist; even if just as a colleague.

Now, they had the one thing they wanted most in the world. The one thing that tore them apart before. And her life was hanging in the balance.

His daughter mewled, reeling Jackson back to reality. He shot his daughter a small smile. The only silver lining to his downward spiral of emotions. Bailey pushed open the doors at that moment, disrupting the father-daughter moment. Her face was grim. Jackson's stomach dropped.

"There was severe obstetric haemorrhaging and-" Bailey's voice broke before she continued.

"She lost too much blood. The blood supply to brain was cut off and ...,".

 _No._ No, Jackson refused to believe this. He sank back towards the bed. It was a nightmare. He needed to wake up from this.

He needed a world where April was there with him, to weep at the first sight of _their_ daughter, to name _their_ daughter, to feed _their_ daughter, to marvel at _their_ daughter with awe, to hear _their_ daughter call out for Mama, to cry on his shoulder on _their_ daughter's first day of school, to talk to her about puberty and boys, to stop him from staring down at any boys looking at _their_ daughter, to distract him from interrogating her potential boyfriend, to hold him while he bawls when _their_ daughter walks down the aisle. To live a lifetime with him to see _their_ daughter grow up.

He was brought to the room where April was in a coma supported by the life support machine. Tears welled up in his eyes when he saw her.

He gave her a light kiss on her cheek. She looked so peaceful. Like she was going to wake up any moment and shoot him a smile.

Oh, what he wouldn't give for those eyes to look at him adoringly. Now, he will never see those hazel eyes crinkle when she smiles. He will miss the dimple of hers when she is so damn happy. Like she would be now. She would be demanding for him to bring their daughter to her. Bossy little one, she would have been, he chuckled to himself.

He put their baby in her arms and supported her arms, wanting her to have at least held the baby once. The baby whom she loved so much.

Tears trickled down Jackson's cheek. She will never know how _damn muc_ h he loves her. She will never know that deep down, he always believed that they will be fine. Eventually. No matter how long that took. She will never know that he envisioned them at Lake Tahoe in 30 years, old and wrinkly and yet, renewing their vows before taking a second honeymoon.

So stupid he was. All the time wasted on how she abandoned him when they could have been celebrating the pregnancy. When they could have reveled in their love for each other. When they could have shared cuddles and kisses and wrapped themselves in each other's warmth. _He loves her. So damn much._

She was leaving him behind. _Again_. And this time, she was not coming back.

 _What hurts the most_

 _was being so close_

 _Having so much to say_

 _And watching you walk away_


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing the previous chapter. I was stuck for this chapter as I did not want to repeat the same experience from the previous chapter. Not satisfactory but this was the inspiration that hit in the moment. I apologise if those following this story got inundated with emails, but I had a problem with the formatting which is hopefully fixed now. Do leave a review and provide constructive criticism (:**

This is the moment. This is it. The baby is coming really soon. April thought to herself as the ambulance veered off to Grey-Sloan.

She was at Meredith's house, picking up the rings for Owen when her contractions began. Thankfully, Ben called an ambulance immediately and now, here she was, on the way to Grey-Sloan.

Ben was beside her, murmuring soothing words while she had a deathly grip of his hands. Not exactly the voice she wanted to hear and the hands she wanted to hold at this moment in her life, but it was good enough. _For now_.

She had already called Jackson, who was also on his way to the hospital from home, where he was getting ready for the wedding.

A sharp contraction ripped through her and all she could do was grip Ben's hand. Harder than she already had. Hopefully, she will not break any of his bones by the end of this whole ordeal.

"Your contractions are only 7 minutes apart. The baby will be here before you know it," Ben tried encouragingly, his face between a forced smile and a grimace of pain.

 _Ok baby! Take your time. We still need to wait for Daddy. He needs to be the first one to see you. Not Uncle Ben!_ April attempted to telepathically convey to her baby.

A contraction ripped through her.

 _Oh God! Please bring Jackson to the hospital as fast as possible. This baby is not ready to wait._ She sent a plea up to the Gods.

* * *

After what felt like an eternity and contractions narrowing to only 5 minutes apart, the ambulance arrived at Grey-Sloan. She expected to see Jackson and Arizona waiting to rush her to the nearest delivery room that had been set up for her so she could give birth in peace.

The ambulance doors opened and she was pushed out and rushed into the hospital. By Bailey and Arizona.

 _Wait._ Wait, where is Jackson? He lives much nearer to the hospital than Mer. He should be here by now. April was confused as she frantically looked for Jackson.

"Bailey, where is Jackson? Is he waiting for me in the room?" April questioned Bailey just as she felt a strong contraction.

"Ouch! That was a strong one," April chuckled before returning her attention to Bailey.

"April, Jackson is not here yet. We will direct him to your room once he reaches here. Now focus on your baby first," Bailey communicated in a gentle tone.

April started to panic; she could not have this baby without Jackson. His only request was to be present at the birth and she had to honour her promise. Especially after the emotional rollercoaster they went through with Samuel. He needed to be here.

"I can't have this baby without Jackson. Please call him and ask him to hurry up. Please!" she pleaded to Bailey.

"April, we will get someone to call him now. But you have to relax. It's not good for the baby," Arizona tried to calm April down.

Another contraction came and still no sign of Jackson. Bailey held her hand while Arizona checked how dilated she was and prepared for the birthing.

Just then, Jo came in.

"Dr Bailey, can I talk to you for a second? It's urgent," she emphasised.

"Umm, we are a little busy here Wilson. Can this wait?" Bailey replied in an annoyed tone.

"Sorry Dr Bailey, this is urgent," Jo reiterated and her eyes rove to April.

Bailey knew something was wrong. _Terribly wrong._ Wilson's tone and how she nervously stole glances at April was an outright red flag.

"I'll be right back alright?" Bailey shot April a small smile.

April was annoyed. Where was Jackson? He was the only one who knew how to make her feel better. And he was still not here!

April was going to give him a piece of her mind when he came. Before crying in relief that he was here to hold her. And bear all the cussing she planned to send his way. She couldn't exactly do that now with Bailey, could she?

 _But where in the world was Jackson?_

* * *

"Wilson, this better be important," Bailey huffed impatiently to Jo.

"Well, I tried calling Dr Avery but his mobile phone was switched off. And...", Jo trailed off.

Bailey raised an eyebrow.

"We do not have time for guessing games, Wilson!"

"An ambulance just came in. Dr Avery is on it. As a patient. He was in a multi-vehicle pile up and is in a critical condition. He... he might not make it," Jo whispered feebly.

Tears crept to Bailey's eyes. This was not fair. After all Jackson and April had been through with Samuel, they deserved to meet this new baby.

"Monitor his condition and let me know any updates. But April should not find out." Bailey sternly reiterated to Jo.

Bailey returned to the birthing room with a forced smile on her face. She had to keep this up for April. _And the new baby._

"Ok April! Jackson is stuck in traffic, but he promises to be here as soon as possible! So, we need you to be calm and focus on your baby now," Bailey conveyed the white lie.

 _Baby's safety above everything_. Avery would have wanted that, Bailey reminded herself.

"Ugh! How can Jackson be so irresponsible? He wanted to be here. He needs to be here! I can't do this without him, Dr Bailey. Not after Samuel….. "April began rambling.

She was definitely veering into panic mode, thought Dr Bailey.

"April! April... listen to me! I am here for you. We are here for you! Jackson will be here and you can hash it out with him later. But your baby is waiting to meet you and you need to be calm for that!" Bailey attempted to get through to her. Arizona smiled reassuringly at April too.

 _Fine, I will do this first. Jackson better get here soon,_ April thought to herself.

* * *

"...And you have a beautiful baby girl," Arizona joyfully exclaimed as April gave a last push.

"Congratulations April!" Bailey expressed while holding her hand.

"Hand her to me. I want to see her!" April demanded.

The wailing baby was placed on her chest and April cooed to the baby. The baby stopped crying and opened her eyes and looked on inquisitively, probably unable to see anything visible but still responding to her mother's voice. She had the brightest green eyes, a head full of thick dark hair and olive skin, just like her father. She looked so much like Jackson. _And Jackson was still not here_.

"We will clean her up and get her right back to you," Arizona gently carried the baby away and out of the room.

"April, I have something to tell you and please stay calm. You are in a delicate state now and you need to stay strong for your baby," began Dr Bailey.

Alarm bells rang in April's head.

 _Is this about Jackson? What happened? Where is he? Is he alright? Tell me!_ April bombarded Bailey with questions, her voice increasing with pitch.

"Jackson met with an accident. He is in a critical condition now. We do not know whether... whether he will make it," Bailey answered with a sombre tone.

 _Jackson met with an accident._ That was all April heard as her ears blocked out. Her heart rate increased and she felt a tightening in her chest.

 _No, this is not happening to me. God, you took my baby away from me. And now you want to take my husband, my soulmate away from me. No, you can't do this to me. I need Jackson. I can't go on with life without Jackson._

April couldn't breathe. _Is it possible to die of a broken heart?_

That was the last thought in April's head as she fainted.

* * *

April woke up and looked around anxiously. She was in _their_ bedroom, lying in _their_ bed and with Jackson looking upon her adoringly with a propped elbow.

"Hey babe! Finally you are up!" Jackson smirked at her.

"Oh Jackson! You are alright! I had such a terrible dream. God, I thought you were gone and we had a baby girl and you weren't there and..." April rambled to Jackson.

He silenced her with a kiss. He then pulled back and looked at her with his intense green eyes, as if he were memorizing the details on her face before wrapping his arms around her, both of their bodies flush against one another.

"April, listen to me, ok? I am so sorry for all that has happened so far. I love you so much and I love our baby so much-"

"But we don't..."

 _Have a baby, right?_

Jackson put a finger to her lips and chuckled.

"Let me finish sweetheart. I am so sorry for everything that has happened, from the divorce to me not being there for you when you were giving birth to our beautiful baby girl."

Jackson kissed April's forehead and tears brimmed in April's eyes. She did not understand what was going on, but it felt like a farewell.

"I promised to love the things that I don't like, I promised to love you even in the bad times and I promised to be there for you and our baby and I am sorry I failed," Jackson's eyes turned wet.

"Now, I need you to be strong for our baby and be the brave and most beautiful woman that I know you are. And as much as it pains to tell you this, you must promise me that you will move on. When you find someone who loves you, you must open yourself to them, promise me?" Jackson caressed her face lovingly.

"No! Why are you talking like this? We are here together and we will be together forever. You promised me that at Lake Tahoe! And no one can ever love me like you do, all my quirks and rambles included," April pouted.

"Sweetheart, sweetheart...calm down. No one will ever love you as much as I do and I am sorry for leaving you like this, but I know that you will pull through this," Jackson kissed her one more time.

April deepened the kiss, wrapping her arms tightly around his body.

 _Is this a dream?_ April was so confused. She couldn't understand why Jackson was talking this way.

April pulled back and rested her head on his chest; she could hear the steady thump of his heart.

"I love you," April murmured into this chest.

"And I love you," Jackson replied with a kiss on her head.

"You are mine." April chuckled.

"I am yours. And babe, I will always be watching over you and our baby. I will be here waiting for you, for the day I can hold you in my arms again. For now, you need to go. Our baby needs you. I will always love you April," Jackson pecked her forehead.

* * *

"April! April! April!" the voice transitioned from Jackson's voice to Arizona and Bailey's voices. She heard a baby crying. Jackson was moving further away from her. Her vision was spinning.

April opened her eyes and saw Arizona and Bailey looming over her with a sad smile on their faces. She turned and saw a crib near her. The baby was wailing, as if making the world known of her presence.

All April could do was cry. She cradled her daughter and wept. Jackson was gone. This was her reality. She has lost her soulmate forever. Her baby girl will never get to know her father. But he had left her with the best part of him. _Their little baby girl._

 _I love you forever, forever and always_

 _Please just remember_

 _Even if I'm not there_

 _I'll always love you, forever and always_

 **Author's Note #2: I apologise for the angst. For some reason, I am drawn to write them more than fluff. But I promise that there is 1 more angsty chapter before a fluff-filled Japril chapter with their baby. The song lyrics at the end is from the song, is 'Forever and Always' by Parachute. Thank you for reading!**


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